A couple of weeks ago I witnessed the worst tantrum in the supermarket that I had ever seen. It came from my son. It was over a activity pack that I said he could have if he helped me with the shopping. Unfortunately Ben did not help me with the shopping. He began running around the shop. I had given him two warning before I put him in the trolley and told him we had to put the activity pack back. He held onto the activity pack with all of his might. But when we reached the checkout I took it off him. WOW…… I have never seen anything like it – screaming, kicking, punching, tears. His face was so red. He was so angry. But I couldn’t give it back to him……. could I……NO NO NO? We got through the checkout, packed the groceries and out to the car and he was still screaming the place down. By the time we had got home he had calmed down. But I was shaken!
Last week when we went to the shopping centre I took back up. Andrew came along to and we had had a long discussion with Ben that we would not be buying any toys. We had jobs to do. We once again had tears on our departure because he didn’t get anything but it was nothing compared to the first incident.
I know I spoil Ben…… only child and all. Not really the best parenting strategy!! So as a result we are going through detox. The detox strategy is going to the shops and I am not buying any toys. It breaks my heart to see him so upset but his behavior is unacceptable. I do feel guilty because I helped create that behavior. Mothers guilt!
We now seem to have reached a happy place when visiting the shops. I have introduced pocket money. Ben now has pocket money that he receives for completing jobs. He loves it and is now more interested in collecting gold coins than toys. So now when we are at the shops he has his pocket money to spend. If he hasn’t got enough money he is learning that he needs to do some more jobs to earn enough. His jobs include – feeding the dog, helping to set and clear the table, picking up his toys, collecting the eggs and picking up the dogs toys. I have been using You Rule Chores on my iPhone.
We have found it pretty great. However Ben sometimes plays with it and gives himself extra coins! I found the application here. If you don’t already read Li’l Magoolie it is worth a look.
Fingers crossed for no more tantrums!!