Since Ben has been born I have worried about everything – he’s not asleep, he’s asleep to long, he’s not eating, he’s not crawling, he can’t have dairy, he’s got wind ………………. I have even woken him up to see if he is ok (what an idiot!!!!).
All this worry gets in the way of enjoying being a mum. I am so lucky I don’t have to go back to work. I have the time to enjoy all the little things. But at times I find myself fussing and worrying about ridiculous things.
Andrew has been overseas this week for work so It has been Ben and I at home. He has had a cold and we have been to the doctors twice. We went to the doctors today and I could hear Andrew in my head ‘You’re fussing, relax, it’s ok’. The doctor was pleased to see Ben but said he is on the mend and there is no need to worry. He also was able to have a look in Ben’s mouth (something he rarely lets you do) and said he is cutting a pile of teeth…… but I’m getting off the topic.
But anyhow…. I’m getting to my point. At the chemist today when we filled the script, the lady behind the counter waved goodbye to Ben and said ‘bye’ as we were leaving. Ben smiled, waved goodbye and said ‘bye’. My heart melted. Also on the way to the car he waved and said ‘bye’ to everyone who looked at him and some that didn’t. Also on the way home in the car the song ‘If you are happy and you know it’ came on. Ben was doing his clap and lifting his arms and saying ‘hooray’ which he says more like ‘yaaaay’. It’s his latest trick. These little milestones – the waving, saying ‘bye’ and ‘yaaay’. Make you realise how ridiculous all the worry is. I have had him at the doctors twice this week, fussed and worried about him. When I failed to realise that yes he has a cold but his happy!!! The chemist (who was behind the back counter) even popped his head out and called Benjamin a ‘happy chappy’ because he was chatting a way in his pram. He will only be little for such a short amount of time. I need to lessen the worrying. I need to embrace and enjoy all the milestones and happy days before he is all grown up………cos’ he is a genius you know?!!!
As new parents we are constantly monitoring and comparing Benjamin’s “progress”. In this modern day environment there is such a volume of information readily available that offers guidance or advice on what/when/how a child “should” develop. In addition there is the advice of friends and family who have been through it all before.
It is so easy to get hung up on measuring your child’s current progress against these standards and expectations.
Our most recent observation was Benjamin’s mobility (or lack of, according to expectations). It seems that there is such a wide range of “normal” for when, how or even if a baby will start to crawl (some start at six or seven months, others skip straight to walking). Up until Ben’s first birthday he was moving around only a little. Since he turned one he has taken off but he is still not crawling in the traditional sense (he commando crawls on his belly mostly).
As I said it is easy to get hung up on these milestones that are perceived as important. I am sure there are plenty of things that Ben does perfectly well before “time” that go unnoticed.
We have learned to just watch and encourage in the knowledge that these things will all happen in good time. We are certainly enjoying watching Ben as he discovers and develops. It seems every week or even every day at times, he is doing something new (well it’s exciting for us anyway).
Belinda tells me that today Benjamin was “a different kid” at playgroup. Today he took off and got mobile with the other littlies but ensured to stop and put on his best smile for the mums on several occasions.
At the end he was exhausted and came home for a big sleep.
We think he was showing off or maybe he is a little star.
It was Ben’s first birthday a few days ago on the 16th April 2008.
We had some idealistic expectation that on his birthday Ben would be his best and most cheerful self.
Sadly it was not to be, due mainly to the dredded “teeth”. Man the whole teething thing is nasty.
On the positive side we had a bit of a party on the following Saturday and Ben was fantastic all day even without his normal sleep routine. We were very proud. It was also great to see so many friends and family come along to celebrate with us. I think it is as much a celebration for us (the parents) for making it this far without damaging Benjamin too much. Hopefully we have done an OK job.